The Different Wedding

Finally got some time out of my work. Actually I finished my work and now have designed a self-sustaining application using GWT and Hibernate (yes it sounds geeky, but then it is a geek who invented the device you are looking into right now!). This week passed very quickly for two reasons: it was a four day week and I had work. ‘You and work?’  ‘What about the Coonoor Travelogue?’ Well, Coonoor travelogue will be the next post, and yes I do work for some days of the year, more when I get a raise and a bonus!

Today’s topic is neither work nor travel. Today’s topic is different. It is about wedding. Yes, all those dreading marriage can take shelters under your tables and those with dreamy eyes can go on reading this post. Wedding it is, but a different one. To start with a brief character sketch of the groom. I have this friend, say X (I don’t want to name him publicly), who has the habit of doing things differently. For example, he brushes his teeth after lunch (sometime not at all) and he baths after lunch, and the first thing he switches on when he enters the house is the TV and not the lamp, and he does not need food if the TV is on and so and so (you got it!). So this X friend decides to get married, yes and it is all of a sudden. It might sound funny but it is true. ‘WHAT!’ Even my first reaction was “WHAT!” and my first words to him after hearing this was “so you wake up in the morning and decide you have to marry… blah blah …” But then, it was his decision at the end of the day.

So X is all excited about his marriage, and we were too. After all only then we will meet our Bhabi. You are right, we friends haven’t seen her picture yet let alone meet her. As the date came nearer, the excitement rose. It was one of my close friend’s marriage and of course I was excited. More because I was really looking forward to how it will happen. X had help and more or less arranged everything from booking the reception place, and food and getting a wedding dress from Rajasthan. ‘Hang on, aren’t you guys Bengali?’ Oh yes, we are, 100%, but this wedding is a modern one; It is a mixture of traditions from all parts of India, most of them Indian and few foreign. Now don’t ask me which were foreign, it is just a figure of speech!

A few days before the wedding, Uncle and Aunty (X’s parent) came. And Aunty’s first words to me were “I can’t understand a bit of what they are telling?” I consoled her, even we could not. But the look on Aunty’s face was precious. Guess you will know when you child decides to marry and the wedding is within 15 days or something and you did not have a clue. Anyway, now the time for thinking about what could have been done is gone. So, we friends were all ready for the big day. One was the videographer, one was the photographer and I was the gift-wrapper. ‘Gift-wrapper! Isn’t it just a paper?’ Well, I was the person in charge of packing the gifts. We have this tradition of giving gifts to the in-laws in beautiful packages and under the full glare of the cameras and the camcorders. So the day before, the gifts were wrapped. Even X was helping me, now that is once in a lifetime opportunity. You do not marry many times, neither will you get chance to wrap gifts for your own marriage.

The wedding day program was fully packed. That is what happens when you squeeze three days program into one day. We were all dressed in our finest garments (linen for me) and reached X’s new house by 7 am in the morning. ‘But you go to office at 11 am!’ So, what, it was a wedding after all! X was giving all the poses of a model wearing a dhoti-punjabi. And so we got late, by the time we loaded the cars with the gifts and started off for the bride’s place it was 8 am. It was nice, one Verna and one Innova full of baaraati. How lucky the girl’s parents would be!

We travelled about 20 KMs and reached her house. It was decorated with flowers and flowers. After a mix of rituals there like haldi, ring ceremony,  gift exchange, etc.  we again hopped on the Innova and made our way to the temple. The temple was again about 20 KMs from her house. Everything was set at the temple, the priest was warned not to take more than 10 minutes to do all the ceremony (he actually took more than that, but who was watching the watch). The ceremony here was again a mixed one, it was funny if not hilarious like the big bhabi throwing whole flowers on the newly-weds (it could have hurt them!). Then it was time for photo shoot. It was again fun, everyone enacting the same poses as there will be in any South-Indian wedding album. ‘Who is South-Indian here?’ Didn’t I tell you, my bad, the bride is J

The next stop was court. ‘Why? Why? Why?’ Patience … Every legal marriage has to be registered under the Indian law, and so we were at the court. Since our dear X decided to marry just 15 days ago, he has to go the opposite way, first get married and then go to court. Anyway, if it was planned earlier, it would have been less fun and I would not write this post. Everything was already done (you know how, since the Lokpal Bill is not yet passed!). But the looks on the faces of the people were precious. They must be thinking from where these theatre personalities have arrived! It was looking odd, with the bride and the groom dressed in all finesse, and garlands and all and walking into a village court with people dressed plainly. The registrar madam was very nice, she just looked at the pictures and asked if they have really married and then congratulated them (though without any smile). And out came the sweets! Lucky people in that room that day.

Then we again hopped on the Innova and were returning to our homes when suddenly the car which we were following entered into a hotel near Whitefield. I was puzzled as to what was happening, then I realized that it was for lunch. Everything after that was normal. The lunch was usual buffet style. The fish preparation was the best, stir fried with egg and flour. Back at X’s house, more drama waited. We have a tradition where in the wedding, the groom has to part with some hefty amount of money which is usually demanded by the bride’s sisters. But since here the bride’s sisters were very naïve and silent, our big bhabi took the stage, and being from the groom’s side only she blocked the door. A Wrestlemania scene followed, but thankfully no one got injured.

We were dead tired, and by the time we reached home it was 4 pm. Fell into the bed and slept like a log till the clock stuck 6 pm. ‘But you can’t sleep like a log for just 2 hours!’ When you are really tired, you can; at least I can. Then it was evening bash, the dinner at the Royal Orchids. We reached the place at 8 pm and X was complaining we were late, but not much. Again photo session, on the stage now. Both the bride and the groom looked fabulous in the Rajasthani outfit. The food was good too, specially the vegetarian flavours like stuffed eggplant and vegetable kofta.  It was fun at the round dinner table with all kinds of jokes and pokes on. At one point we were hearing ourselves laughing as everyone else have left. People are so punctual at weddings here!

Well, that was it. Did not think this will come out so big when I started writing it. But then it came all in one flow. All the best wishes to Mr. X and Mrs. X for a long and happy married life, and please do not surprise us like this again, ever!

PS: The above item is entirely fictional and the product of my evil brain, any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is entirely co-incidental.